Book Review: ‘Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture’

Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture: Practical Help for Shaping Your Children’s Hearts, Minds, and Souls
by Mary E. DeMuth
[Harvest House, $12.99]
release date: July 2007

If you’ve ever watched the ultra-popular National Geographic Channel television show called “The Dog Whisperer,” you’ll notice that the show really isn’t about getting dogs to behave. It’s about training the owners on how to interact with them. Obedience follows proper instruction and handling.

In a strange way comparison, Authentic Parenting isn’t so much about getting your kids to behave; it’s about becoming the kind of follower Jesus is calling you — the parent — to be in this postmodern culture. So if you’re looking for 10 quick tips to trick your kids into being angels in public, look elsewhere. This book is intellectual, meaty and challenging to the reader.

While the writing easy to read, the challenge the content presents is a little more difficult to digest. “Parenting, boiled down to its essence, is modeling,” the author, Mary DeMuth, writes. “How you want your children to be on the inside must match your own insides – and your insides need to be surrendered to the kingdom of God” (p. 44). DeMuth, a speaker, writer and church planter, spends plenty of time showing you how to take steps to do just that.

But the book isn’t without practical application. DeMuth encourages being polite and respecting one another (novel idea!); to practice forgiveness in the home; to coach instead of direct older children; to spend time in nature; to value the arts. She also goes into great depth into the intangible bigger picture: how to bring truth, authenticity, community into your home to prepare your children for the world we live in today. She advises:

• Engage your children in conversation. She gives an example of how they do this: “Our practice over the last several months has been to play ‘high-low’ every night with our children as we eat our dinner” (p. 59).

• Read with your children: “Reading creates a haven because it gives families shared experiences. It opens up imagination. Good books teach lessons, not by preaching but by unveiling a well-told story” (p. 100).

• Create a safe environment: “Home is the place our children return to, the compass they guide their lives by. As they leave our homes, they’ll be more apt to return to what we value if home was a refuge” (p. 103).

• Live out a vibrant faith: “What kind of faith do we want our children to bring to this postmodern world? A stoic, stuffy religion that beckons people to rules and regulations? Or a vibrant, life-giving, grace-abounding relationship with Jesus that infects and affects the people around them?” (p. 216).

“Children shape us,” DeMuth writes. They are also a reflection of our faith: “Through our children, we see ourselves, where we are with Jesus” (p.88). What a wonderful tool God gives to shape and mold us as we shape and mold others. Regardless of how fast the culture changes around us, the way we love and instruct our children can sustain them for a lifetime.