Cheap Ways To ...

In the handful of years that followed college, each one got engaged and married weeks apart during the summers. I probably averaged four weddings a season.

My angst wasn’t so much that I was always a bridesmaid, never a bride. It was that I was always shelling out my entry-level job bucks on weekend-long fantasy weddings in remote locations around the U.S. Airplane tickets, a new dress (that I would never wear again), miscellaneous expenses and on top of it all—a wedding gift.

Moreover, for many, the wedding is no longer a one-day affair—it’s grown into a wedding weekend with expensive festivities lasting three days or more. It’s estimated that guests will spend $500 to attend a wedding these days—and that figure doesn’t even include plane tickets, according to “For Richer or Poorer,” Mother Jones, (Jan./Feb. 2005).

But it wasn’t like I could boycott these weddings—these were my best friends! Friends I had made over late-night deadlines at the school paper office and ones I had bonded over gripe sessions about a senile world history teacher.

Okay, so it wasn’t like these were childhood best friends, but they were ones I was certain would be friends for life.

Five years later, the only friend I still talk to is my journalism professor about once or twice a year.

Lesson #1: Commit to going to non-local weddings for friends you’ve had longer than two years or will have for longer than two more years.

The Dreaded Bridesmaid’s Dress

The only thing more impractical in the world than a bridesmaids dress is possibly the Segway. Even if you’re lucky enough to score a decent-looking bridesmaid’s dress, the chances of you ever wearing it again are nil.

Lesson #2: Find some way to reuse or recycle your $200-worn-only-once dress. Modify it into something wearable. I had one of my dresses cut into a skirt that I could wear to holiday parties. Auction it as a prom dress to some unsuspecting high schooler on eBay. Throw a party where everyone comes in old prom or weddings dresses. Give it to Goodwill as a tax write-off. Or if worse comes to worse, save it for a Halloween costume.

The Shower Season

Where there’s a wedding, there are showers. And lots of them. Engagement parties, bridal showers, lingerie showers, home warmings—the showers and parties are as endless as the disco tunes at a wedding reception.

Lesson #3: Stick to a wedding gift budget. Say you’ve got $50 to spend on the couple and you’re invited to two showers and the wedding. You could spend $15 on the engagement party gift (a favorite photo of the couple you took placed in a cool frame), $15 on the bridal shower (something off their registry) and you’ll have $20 to include in the wedding day card that they’ll take to their honeymoon. (Money is the most desired wedding gift, according to Hallmark.com.)

An Arabian proverb says, “If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.” Your friends will be showered with gifts and money. It won’t matter the size of your gift but the thoughtfulness behind it.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

If travel is required to attend and/or be part of a friend’s wedding, think long and hard if you need to go. First off, many couples are aware that not many of their local friends are going to be able to attend their church wedding in the hills of North Carolina. Secondly, the sacrifice that you’ll make in time and money may not be necessary. See if your friends plan to have a local reception for those who weren’t able to travel to the wedding.

If travel is required, get smart about what you spend on.

Lesson #4: Get practical when it comes to booking your travel. Use Internet search engines like SideStep.com or Priceline.com to get the best deals—and book as early as possible. Hook up with someone else who’s going to the wedding to split a rental car and hotel room, but not before asking your engaged friends if they can provide transportation and lodging first. Chances are there will be many others flying from out of town, so an extra trip to an airport or a pull-out sofa bed may work just fine. If you do end up booking a hotel room, see if your friends have arranged for a block of rooms at a reduced price.

After the last packet of birdseed has been flung, remember the reason you’ve put up with all this wedding nonsense. You care about your friends and sacrificed to be apart of their big day. Don’t let that slip away as life goes on and schedules get busier. Make it a point to reconnect with your friends on a regular basis. Charles Caleb Colton, an English sportsman and writer at the turn of the 19th century, said, “True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”